So lately I've been sort of 'switching' churches, so to speak. The church I usually went to, was Beulah, and while I love some of the people there, the longer I've stayed the more I became overwhelmed by the size of the congregation, as well as the usual church blahz (like I've ranted before in earlier posts). While there were a couple of people I could go to for mentoring, the general air I've felt with certain groups that I was always around made me uncomfortable and reluctant to reach out for help.

At some point in time I knew that I couldn't just let the b.s. help me lose faith, so I decided that I was going to migrate a bit, to one of the daughter churches. Pastor M and Lady M, I feel that they're one of the sincerest people I've met. They share a long story of love together, and the issues they've overcame so far in their lives motivates me to be a better person. So for the past month I've been going to their church more often. Their congregation is much smaller than big Beulah, but it's also more intimate and to me a more positive environment.

Anyways, this past Sunday was the culmination of Pastor M''s 26th pastoral anniversary and I went to the service after business with my sister at her house. What I love about these culminations and the tribute services are mainly the stories and the words of encouragement that is often shared (there was a tribute service for Lady M last Sunday-- and there was a service for their children on maybe the 2nd Friday of May?) That night was particularly emotional for me because of the things being said and this one elder (he's actually pretty young) breaking down when he spoke about him, telling his story about not having a father in his life and how he wished Horace was his biological father.

I was feeling conflicted in my spirit at the same time too, but the word that was spoken that night really hit home for me, because the question that was brought up was "how is your worship life?" and that was also another subject that I was always sort of struggling with. When it came to altar call I just started crying when I was praying and being prayed for... but then as time went on, I was crying for no reason LOL it was kind of funny but yeah.


After the service ended I spoke to Lady M and I told her how I felt regarding my faith for God and how I felt that my wanting the Holy Ghost was more out of fear than out of real understanding and wanting. The thing I love most about Lady M is that she has this tendency to just know before I could explain everything and it helps me because half the time I feel like I'm rambling with no direction. But she talked to me about it, and she also explained my 'emptiness' feeling and me crying for no reason and stuff. Long story short, nothing that would make sense unless you believe in the Holy Ghost and then mental/emotional barriers and stuff xD




rawr so on Memorial Day, the church people had a picnic/cookout out in Valley Stream state park IN L.I. . It was pretty nice. I spent the first half of the time doing homework for school, the other half just idling around. Two hours or so later I was ready to leave LOL


Some picsss

So yesterday was beautiful. Omi decided she wanted to go out to Germantown yesterday (Ridgewood area of Brooklyn/Queens, by Myrtle-Wyckoff), for her birthday next week, so mom and I took her out. She hasn't been outside the vicinity of the house for at least a year now, especially since she fell last January and was feeling emotionally and physically jacked despite not having any serious injuries. Now that she got herself off whatever addictive meds these idiot doctors were giving her, she's been eating regularly now, and after going out yesterday I know she'll be ok ♥




My usual bikini + sheerish top I like to do during the summer. No makeup, I've been draining myself over finishing up school that I didn't get sleep that morning and was in no mood to even touch makeup e_e Eventually had switched to my Deary heart heels because for whatever reason it was just hard to walk in these strappy shoes.

When we got in the area, the first stop had to be Rudy's, which is a bakery we always went to since as far as I can remember. I can never remember the lady who works there, but she's been there since I was a kid. We were talking about Cedelia (this lady keeps saying Cecelia but we decided not to try and correct her at this point xD; ) and her baby coming up and etc. We got our usual pastries (twists and jelly donuts), mommy got whatever sweets she wanted, butter cookies for Nicolas, and Omi got herself a black forest cake for her birthday (she said she was gonna the liquor in there later, like how Germans roll LOL ilu Omi). Then we did our usual grocery shopping, Omi went and got whatever from the liquor store, and some other cake from -another- pastry lol

While she was in the liquor and the pastry store I went to TD bank real quick to deposit some cash. When all that was done and over with we came back home, packed everything away and whatnot, and afterwards I headed out to the city.

While I was walking towards the train station, I noticed one of my heels were feeling like it was bending or something and i was just here like the fawk... thinking that maybe the outsole for the heel popped off again but no... I looked at it and there was a CRACK in the shoe.


Originally I was gonna go to straight to Union Sq, get my big gay ice cream, get some kimchi and take my ass back home, but after that I was just really worried about my shoes, so I went to 34th instead to Rainbow's since that was the closest store I could get to. Unfortunately the more I walked, the bigger this crack became, and now it's pretty much at it's breaking point, of just splitting in two :/ I'm taking them to the shoe repair today, but I doubt I can salvage them. Here's to hoping I'd find some new ones on auction...

One thing that pissed me off about Rainbows was that ALL their shoes were like 19.99, just because they're in season (I know you have dollar flip flops and stuff somewhere from last year, niggaz) so what did I get instead?






These ankle boots for $5. Obv the price was the deciding factor because I was not out to go shoe shopping, but the raspberry color is really pretty too. It was the last one in that color, and in my size. Miracle

I know I've been getting looks all day (first day of blazing weather and I'm here rocking a miniskirt and a bikini under a seethrough top), but I had gotten a couple of comments about these boots, which made me feel good. And this one weird chick who were giving me pedofaces but e_e that's ok

But of course, one could only last for so long in a pair of 4 inch shoes that hasn't been broken in yet, and I decided to trek through the city in them for 2 hours and go to Mei's job xD and sat there and chilled until it was her lunch break. And then after that I found a discount store and bought a pair of sandals for $5.




My feet were like, done. going from 2 inch heels, to 4inches, to no inch xD they were hurting so much, so I was like fawk it, going to Big Gay Ice Cream, get my kimchi, then go home. When I got to the line for Big Gay I saw Laura and her bf Gino and my bby David and I joined them on line xD When we got up to the window and I told Doug about my day and showed him my dead shoe now and he was like "yknow what, I gotchu. I know what u neeeed. mermaid sundae" of course I squealed, because I love mermaids (read: F*CKING LOVE MERMAIDS). While he was making it I told him how much I loved mermaids and how I wanted to get a functioning mermaid tail and just lay around my bed and in my bathtub and in pools despite the fact that I can't swim or breathe underwater and would probably drown myself. But I'd be happy. He told me to stop. LOL




Vanilla topped with key lime curd, with graham character and whipped cream. Epic.

Went to 3rd ave to get this kimchi, but then Laura wanted to go to Tokyo Rebel and Gino bought her a pair of socks. I should've probably left after the kimchi but I was like w/e, but then I was like LOL FML and after TR I decided to just pay for a cab back to Astor Place. Could've used that $10 and bought a wig with no shame but NOPE. LOL oh well


I've been so exhausted over school that I just don't want to give a damn about how I spend my money. But of course, my sister's thing is first, which is NEXT WEEK fuuu ugh. But in the meantime, my shoe group order finally got paid for and sent, so I'm hoping the packages won't get hit by customs and they'll get here in a reasonable amount of time. Then I got to pay Christine back for my Victoria Secret bikini (which btw, I ended up getting it for $22 instead of $42, forgot if I mentioned but~ yay promotional codes), and from there I'm gonna be juggling between train-hopping and job hunting, paying off Mai (which is a bit complicated, because now my silly ass wants to buy a yukata), making a new taobao order full of cheap shit and lifetime supply of lashes and whatnot, and buying wigs and new weave. LOL The money I spend on my appearance when I could probably have a life (or a proper savings account filled up xD)

But for now? I gotta finish at least 15 assignments for school before 2pm, and try to multitask between that, washing/setting my hair, and making these Kimchi Bacon Deviled Eggs for my last class party with the LWPI people. From there? Finishing the last of my homework, which involves a lot of networking and whatnot (gonna get this out of the way while I'm job-hunting), studying, finishing my quizzes online, and then I'll be taking the certification test.

This + my sister's baby shower next Saturday -and- possibly working for my teacher's friend on one of her events that Sunday? very busy week ahead of me. Then the week after that all my doctor's appointments... hopefully I'll land a job, whether on my own or through SYEP, and then it's smooth sailing summer from then on. Doing my Preston Bailey Event Design course online, job, maybe another class curriculum at church for Young Women's Mentoring (I've been DYING for this to start up again, thank you lord), and bikinis, beach, and hopefully boyfrand, all tied in a pretty bow. That's what I'm dreaming for. ♥

Thank God May 21st passed.

Thank God.

No one can understand how aggravated I was from the hype, everything was astronomically retarded.

When they first 'announced' it, I was on edge for the simple fact that I knew that 'radical evangelists' would take the streets and seriously shove that load of crap down people's throats... What got me even more pissed off is the fact that the media paid attention to it and fed the crap out of it, and reaching foreign shores it made a total mockery out of Christianity, mainly American Christians.

There were several articles on it, e.x. this one story that was in the NY Times... this one woman quit her job as a nurse to "sound the trumpets" of Christ's return (um.... I swore that was the angels' job...). She decided to try and force her children into passing out pamphlets with her, but they didn't want to. The parents (including the dad, who btw didn't quit his job) believed the Rapture was gonna come, the kids didn't. So then apparently in response the mother said to them "I'm sorry you three will be left behind while your dad and I met God and enjoy His kingdom."

Are you shitting me???? Why would you say that to your kids? Like so much for ministering!
I'm pretty sure they were high school students at least, because their one major concern out of all this? was if they'd be able to afford college after their mom decided to be a fucking dipshit.

The day after the 'Rapture', the radio was talking about some man in Long Island who spent 140 THOUSAND DOLLARS 'spreading the word'

His response afterwards? "I don't understand why it didn't happen--"

WHAT

The main reason why I was so pissed over this whole thing was because it pretty much showed how gullible, and how lazy and misguided some of these 'Christians' are.
I'm not gonna judge them too much, but real faith comes from studying the unadulterated Word of God. How were you so quick to believe this guy's 'prophecy'? Ignoring the fact this dude did it at least twice before and failed?

Like, where is your faith now? Is it totally in the gutter because you failed to look back into the Bible?

I was nervous about the 'Rapture', not because I was afraid that it was gonna happen, but because I knew it was just gonna be an overflow of stupidity and epic fail. When I felt nervous I went back into the Bible and read the New Testament.

If people paid attention to these three things, and actually took the Word to heart, they wouldn't have lost so much time and energy, simpleminded people wouldn't have quit their jobs like fools:

1st - In Duetoronomy it said to not give heed to people who do divination/witchcraft, fortune-telling, reading of the stars etc.
2nd - Jesus said that at a certain point in time there would be false prophets, and people claiming to be Him
and 3rd- Jesus also said that no man shall know the day nor the hour of His coming, not even the Angels, only the Father.

And even in the Kings James version, in all it's Ye Olde English, did it plainly say these things.

Are people really that lazy to pick up the Bible and read? They prefer to listen to a preacher rather than actually taking the time to pick up a book?

I had to seriously this weekend for those who would be pushed away from God because of this, those (like the kids) that were really affected by it or will be affected by it because of other people's actions.. That and I prayed that He'd forgive the people who actually bought into this stuff and acted foolish over everything, as well as those who were being malicious like "lolChristians/Stupid Christians" and pretty much mocking the power of God. But seriously? stupid people are stupid, God. On both sides.

I'm just glad that the aftermath wasn't as loud as I thought it would be. I expected much more trolling but people seemed to have quieted down and got over it for the most part.

Now? For December 2012. I'm already preparing myself for the fail - w-

If you haven't heard of Big Gay, you've clearly been missing out (or been living in a hole. aka out of NYC)

Big Gay Ice Cream Truck started running back in 2009, and is now a hit-sensation when it comes to mobile food trucks. They usually sit north of Union Square every day all afternoon, serving ice cream cones with eclectic toppings and fillings, e.x. dulce de leche, wasabi pea dust, cayenne pepper, etc.

I love BGICT, because the co-owner Doug loves me and loves to spoil the shit out of me, seriously. Last week me and my left boobie Laura decided to pop up at the ice cream truck twinning in our Bear Cafe dresses. She was suffering from allergies but we made sure that didn't stop us from going out and enjoying ourselves e___e





When we got there, Doug was just jizzing rainbows all over our cuteness. Luckily it saved me, LOL because he had me on a 'timer' saying that if I didn't see him by Thursday, he was gonna be mad lololo

At first I was gonna get my regular Salty Pimp, while Laura was gonna try the Bea Arthur, but after we tried a sampling of the wasabi ice cream we just knew we had to get that shet.

Since it's only crushed wasabi peas, and not the crazy shit you get with sushi, it wasn't at all as hot as we expected it, but the taste was definitely there and it was so good * w* definitely gonna get that shet again

Our outfitssss. nom I can't wait till Laura gets over her allergies, so she can wear her circle lenses and go all out ♥ We were also gonna shop for curly ponytails so we can match later with the big hair and whatnot.



★★★

One of my good friends Yanise is an animation student at SVA~
For the past damn near 6+ months she's been breaking her back and cutting herself off from the world finishing her final project/theory project/whatever you kids call em

So at some point within the last month I tried to help her out with the animation, whatever to get less stress off her back and her project finished sooner :c

And now it's finished and up on the internet~ While she didn't feel too good about the results and stuff with her class, it looks so cute ; w; and I'm glad it's finally over and done with. And she's graduatinggggg


Here's the video for your viewing pleasure:

Plight of the Firefly from Yanise Cabrera on Vimeo.

Congrats Yani ; w; ♥♥♥♥

So I was looking at this one halter-neck bikini from Victoria's Secret for the longest time...

since last year when it came to summer wear I was all for the bohemian look. Except with the natural/bohemian look, I wanted to also mix it with really bright and bold colors, I wanted it to look really ethnic, like Brazil or Persia or Morocco or something like that. I'm talking about bold batik prints, really warm earthy reds, GOLD as always (lovelovelovegold), turquoise, etc. Match that with shells, beads, wooden bangles, feathers? Heaven.

So I ordered with my friend Christine so I could take advantage of the $20 off code they gave me, plus the free shipping when both of our orders came to 100 dollars. Originally it was gonna be like $42 or 50 after shipping, but because of all that it came out to only $22. Badass. ♥



Besides that, last week I rearranged some of the crap in my room, throwing out old toy crap and whatnot, finally throwing away unused shoe boxes and etc. Now I can walk around my bed again. LOL

But other than that, I also found a bunch of old necklaces my mom gave me when she wasn't interested in them anymore. I'm glad I was such a hoarder when I was a kid xD


These are some of the ones I found. Shells, nice looking beads and whatnot... I have them hanging on my mirror so I don't forget them, I can't wait to take them and mix and match with my twopiece~

now the only things I wanna try and get? New sandals and more bangles and accessories. (Not to mention the Bombshell perfume, and the matching body shimmer powder >w>)

I've been looking at a lot of wedges lately, as well as platformed shoes with a faux cork heel, because as much as I love stiletto heels? They're the last thing I'd want to stroll on the boardwalk or something with. I want my high heels that I'll be more comfortable with. I want illusion of height, something that'll help accentuate my body, without the nerve-pinching and foot pain I tend to get.

e.x., as far as the heel, not the rest of the design:







ANYWAYS, other than getting my new bikini, I've also been trying to get a little more fit before I start going more bare this summer.

Well. Half-assing it, anyways xD

One thing I cannot stand? NY health insurance.

Like seriously, why the fuck is my health insurance getting cut off every so often? It's ridiculous.

My insurance was supposed to last until August when I'd need to fill out the service continuation stuff... but apparently it got cut off on April 30th?? Come on!!

What pisses me off the most is that they never sent a notification of it being cut off or anything like that. I had a GYN appointment on Friday, and then I was going to travel to my primary care for my second Gardasil shot right afterwards. But because they cut off my shit without letting me know, I couldn't do any of that. Thank God Planned Parenthood doesn't try and charge if you don't cancel appointments within such-and-such hours... otherwise I'd be fucked out of 85 bucks I obviously didn't have :/

Like do they understand how expensive it is to travel back and forth for no reason? Being a jobless student = me being OCD and cramming several tasks into one day so I can take advantage of free transfers and stuff so I'll have extra money to get to my next class whenever.

they just had to wreck my wholeee flow up. Now I have to go visit this dude on Wednesday to apply again. I won't be able to go to my GYN until JUNE when my insurance is hopefully back on again, and the same for my shot :/ complete b.s., I swear.

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This past week after Easter was VERY good, In more ways than one lololo, but for now I'm just gonna get to the cherry blossoms. Sappy posts can come later.

First off, I thank God for the perfect weather this past week. That and all the cherry blossom trees in the esplanade part of the BBG didn't bloom -until- after Easter. By the time it hit Wednesday for our little photo shoot, the trees were nice and pink and filled with flowers @ w@ and then Sakura Matsuri it was just overflow of pink. It was gorgeous.

I don't have all the photos yet since my friend Sophie (her flickr) hasn't edited all of them yet since it's finals week for a lot of people. But I'mmm gonna post two of my favorite pictures for you guys :3







om nomnomnomnom

As you can see, I changed the hairstyle last minute. Later on when I did the same hairstyles in my last posts, the more I looked at myself, the more displease I was because of the lack of accessories. My flowers and whatnot, while they gave detail, made the hairdo seem lopsided almost, since they weren't similar sizes and whatnot, and when I tried to switch up the accessories it wasn't looking any better. So I decided to save that for another day/shoot. Hopefully with actual kanzashi or better crap in general xD This one I just swept my hair to the side and tried to do I little something with messy teased curls and whatnot. Figured that be better for a oiran look in a simple yukata.

Anyways~ I'll have more pictures when Sophie gets to them :3



Saturday was the actual Sakura Matsuri festival, and as always, it was crowded as hell. But compared to last year (which the smell of unwashed weeaboo ass wafted because of the heat), it was VERY nice. Cosplay, creepers, and tourist crowds aside, the weather was beautiful, slightly breezy but mostly sunny, and the cherry blossom trees looked even fuller than days before. It was really gorgeous. So we enjoyed ourselves for a good couple of hours before making our way to St. Mark's to eat and to have game time at the local game shop 8 Bit &Up.