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Monday, December 10, 2012
12:41 PM | Posted by Amani | | Edit Post
Sometime around the end of November/early December, I had finally recieved my certificate for Wedding & Event Planning.
When I first got it in the mail, I couldn't help but stare at it and just think about myself.
For a long time I've always had issues with school. Feelings of anxiety, worthlessness fed into the huge amount of prostination I did throughout my public school life. A lot of the time I did not want to face a lot of the challenges that were ahead of me, the main one being, "What do I do from here?"
It was only by the grace of God that I was able to finish this, just like it was Him that helped me get out of high school, because the amount of tension that always built up on me was anything but explainable.
I still don't have the courage to really take on anything long-term like college-- in my opinion, it's really the last thing I need. Especially when the fields that I want to get in are more about connections than education, and even more that college has turned into another commodity that traps people into debt for years. It's too hard for me to think about long-term schooling, when all I can imagine is the decades of debt I would be in-- and still no real direction of what I'm meant to do in life.
But this... this is definitely a step forward for me. Even though I struggled, and I failed the other course that I really wanted to pass, this gives me a bit more courage in myself, even if I still don't know where I want to go, or want to do. I know there will be a day where I won't get caught up in the spirit of fear, and be able to fully reach my full potential-- and maybe even surpass it.