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Sunday, December 21, 2014

What's been going on as of late...

Every so often I check into my blog to try and catch up on my subscriptions, realize my last post was from JUNE, and then I attempt to write up new posts. I literally have at least 5 really good topics that are half-written and God knows when they'll get done (if ever).

The reality is that my life has been nothing short of tumultuous. 2014 has definitely felt like one of those "one step forward-- two steps back" motions where things just can't seem to move ahead. And while I'd love to just vent and whine like I used to do, I can barely find the energy to even do that anymore.. but I guess I'll do a small summary of how my past six months have treated me.

Like shit. The past 6 months has been shit. (Well, more like the past 3, but it feels like 6 months.) The summer was another 'struggle-season' for job-hunting, as people were refusing to hire, as usual. Since the spring, I was really pressing to go to Florida for a convention and had all these timelines and plans sorted out, but when it came down to it, I was never able to secure a job. I was literally shooting dozens of letters and resumes out by the day but only gotten maybe 3 responses or so back, all which ended up being some sort of pyramid scheme thing, or just wasn't good. A lot of things were not coming together and I found myself becoming more and more enraged over this warped job market...

It was only at the last moment that I actually ended up landing a job, which was a paid internship, and for the next few months I was pretty set. I managed to get to Florida, even though the job didn't start until after I got back, and I had a decent time.

The internship experience was pretty good. Through it I was able to work New York Fashion Week (which was.. an interesting experience) and also later work at one of CUNY's grant programs which was really fun. I'll actually make a blog post about it in the future.

At the end of the internship I was basically offered a lot of college opportunities including admission to really awesome CUNY scholarship programs, so basically at the moment your girl is looking into college. When someone says 'free!' you don't have to tell me twice xD I'll also speak more about this later. But I'm pressing to start Fall 2015, and in the meantime I'll be starting some other career certification programs over at one of the Educational Opportunity Centers to kill time and get used to class settings again. So now it's just the matter of killing time until that starts in Febuary..

A photo posted by Amber (@amanihime) on

The main stressor at the moment though, has been my grandmother. A few months ago she somehow fractured some bones which ended up getting worse. At first it was just a little pain which she tried to ignore, but soon after she couldn't even walk anymore. We sent her to the hospital, where we first found out about the issue. After being in the hospital for a few days she was transferred to a rehab facility, and a terrible one at that. I can get into specific detail about it, but you can maybe check my Yelp page in a while for when I leave a shitty review on their page...

She was released sometime last month and has been bedridden since. She did not recover at all at the rehab, in fact since she left she's been suffering from diarrhea so she's been very weak and dehydrated. This has been going on for at least 5 weeks now, and all the antibiotics and stool hardeners that she's been given by the hospital has not been working at all.. to top it off, we're in the middle of trying to change her PCP and find specialists that will take her health insurance (which is next to none, because lolveteran's insurance. Those good ol' service benefits-- Not.) She was also cut off from her medication for her Rheumatoid Arthritis.. so she feels everything all over her body.

It's been very hard on me and my grandfather because we're both not emotionally able to really handle this issue easily. I personally have been so behind on so many projects, things that should have been done in October are just now getting worked on. Meanwhile my grandmother is becoming more difficult to handle, and it's somewhat understandable. She's not able to do anything for herself anymore, she's in constant pain, and her motivation to go on has been dropping more by the day. Christmas is basically not happening this year, at least the way we've always traditionally celebrated it. My grandparents barely want anyone around, they don't want me or my mother to get any of our usual German deli meat or christmas cookies to send out to our relatives or anything like that...

So it's been a productive couple of months, but at the same time it's been a very emotionally/ physically/ spiritually draining experience for everyone. Especially all the injustices going on in the world and in the U.S... This is pretty much the reason I have not updated since the summer. I'm just trying to keep my mind clear and keep my focus on finishing the school application process, and trying to make time to meet with program directors and school counselors, and preparing myself for the EOC courses. I've also been working a lot with GAL VIP during some of this time, and hopefully starting in 2015 we'll be putting out some amazing stuff, look forward to it!

So I apologize for the slowness, just please keep my grandmother and my family in your thoughts and prayers, and hopefully everything will be back to speed and good again soon  I hope everyone has a Happy Holidays and a wonderful New Year! In case you want to see more activity from me, follow my Instagram and my Facebook Fanpage until I'm able to catch up on my blog (and Youtube!).


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