.Amani

.Amani
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Thursday, August 1, 2013
There have been more than enough times where I had to tell someone off. Anyone who have known me for a long time, especially in the lolita community, have known this about me, haha. Those same people have also seen a gradual change in me over the years.

In 2007-2008 I was very... what's the word... is there even a word to describe the level I was on as far as actions are concerned? Probably not. I was very active at that time in drama communities like old LJ lolita_wank and later the newer version getoffegl. The foolishness that would make its way onto these forums were nothing less than hilarious majority of the time. Because I was very brash most of the time I remember being head-to-head with some of the more infamous (and sadly) real life trolls that would appear. Even going into 2009-2010, while I stopped going off as much, I was still very much known for telling people off when they were in the wrong, getting into very heated debates regarding topics like "lifestyle", what have you.

On old gyaru forums, e.x. Ricoche (hahaha if you used to be on there, shout out xD), I used to repeatedly go off on "gyaru" people for stupid opinions, or things that were really idiotic that they tried to push on other people, or when certain members would have their little fanclubs gang up on individuals because they didn't agree with them. Once I got into it with a lot of them, they usually did a huge amount of flouncing because they were mainly not true (to themselves and other people) and could not handle the reaction they would get for the same amount of cattiness they would initially give.

But like any 'generational' group of people, those who used to do so much back then eventually mellowed out, became less trigger-happy, became less interested in the latest retard that would pop up, and reserved themselves for more serious topics and what have you. I think it was the end of 2011 when I completely stopped looking at drama forums, ____secrets, even as far as keeping myself up to date with what goes on in the community. The Gyaru community back then, I felt was really crippled and there was no use in connecting with stupid people. (Now that those of us who have been in it for a while have mellowed out, I actually talk to an awful lot of 'oldheads' who I used to communicate with, good or bad. That and now that there's more diversity as far as different countries, or the showcasing of different people's personal lifestyles through blogs and whatnot, I have a little bit of a greater appreciation for it.)

That point in time was really crucial for me style-wise, because I was concentrating a lot on myself, as far as working, or school, and I think back then I might've -just- started going to church or something, but there was a lot of improvement or maturing from then to now. When I first got into gyaru, I didn't use makeup at all-- so during this kind of social 'break' period I found a makeup style I was satisfied with, gotten more familiar with hair and styling, and I started shifting my wardrobe to be more evened out (between lolita, gyaru-workable stuff, and now more casual things for modest occasions). I also pushed myself to meet people that inspired me career-wise, lifestyle-wise, musically...

Because of my break, nowadays I cannot be bothered by people's bullcock. It actually takes a lot for me to really go off on someone, like a long history of stupidity that gets continually worse. Besides that, I just simply give input if it is asked for, I post my own photos here and there and that's it.. I am very corrective, when I give people advice or constructive criticism, I do not sugarcoat anything I say, but I just tell them exactly how it is. Because honestly, no one truly improves when others beat around the bush and fawn over people and not giving them the potential growth they should go for.

I have no trouble commenting and telling a person truth, especially if they go out their way to digitally edit themselves (badly, because a lot of girls really can't use these editing programs correctly) and then trying to play it off like they didn't do anything. Usually in those cases I'll question it, the person tries to defend it, I'll go 'oh ok well if that's what you say, but such and such are tell-tale signs saying otherwise. But alright.' and though at that point I just dismiss it, the original poster usually deletes the post knowing that others would realize what I had pointed out. A lot of the times though I do not even bother to comment because it's very easy for me to see people's motives when they post, especially those who only post for compliments, or for a following, or something like that. Seeing a lot of the community is now like that, I just don't try to wrap my mind around it because I know exactly where it would lead. Especially within ethnic demographic groups, sadly enough.  It's a bit annoying.


~~~~~~~

That being said, when I'm at this state of 70% not giving a damn, it's hilarious to me when salty, sickly looking girls with some sort of small following try to come at me out of the blue, and out of context of what might be going on at the time because of some old feelings they still have for me. Princess Rune would call them, "dusty cluckclucks". It's sad when people who attach names and styles to themselves (but don't reflect it at all, or make it look bad with their mediocrity) not only think they have Godship-level authority concerning a certain demographic, but think they can come at me as though their long-lived reasoning for hating was ever still relevant.

It's entertaining to me, having watched it happen with my old friend with her past situations, and Rune, being known for her old 'weeaboostories' blog, and to see some someone still have some sort of feelings towards my presence in general is hilarious, despite me not posting much but my pictures, constructive crit here and there, and not being anywhere near how I used to be. Sometimes I would discuss it with others and they would see and feel the same thing. Often we would jokingly regard them as jarred lovers who would never get over the 'bad breakup'.

Despite me not liking or getting along with people, I've learned to disregard and ignore them (whether it's a post, or their existence in general). For people to have the inability to be able to willingly -enter- a dispute and not keep their head cool-- it kind of just makes me shake my head at them. When they let the salt permeate in their blood stream to the point where they don't have the ability to be subtle when need be, or be able to argue a point without giving in to name-calling, accusations or threatening unwarranted authoritative action, and then they want to be concerned about their image being stained...

Reflecting and laughing at recent events and people's 'closing notes', I'm thankful for a developed and sound mind, being able to discern a situation, having the ability to stick to what I say, and also not create a delusion of things. People's foolishness only causes a self-fulfilling prophecy. After all, a double-minded person is unstable in all his ways...


People sure go crazy over this 'internet idolism' stuff. Fans may unanimously love and whiteknight to their hearts' desire, but fellow peers who are aware will start to see you for your idiocy.

1 comments:

Amani said...

PREACH! I'm glad you totally get my nfg attitude. I'm like yo, they aren't my family, paying me or my bills. Why should I care what they think or say. Anyways, miss you lots~!

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