.Amani

.Amani
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Thursday, June 30, 2011

New Additions

Monday I had went to the BGICT because Doug said there'd be a special surprise:



Fortunately I just wore my MAR*S bow xD The weather was too meh, my hair was definitely a no-fly zone, so I decided not to do loli. Sported my sundress, my MAR*S bow, simple and cute - w-

The special surprise was Anthony Bourdain.


(Hurr, look at me with the tard bow in front of him)

...
...
You know I didn't know this dude xDDD;

He's an American chef/author/TV Personality apparently, having had his own shows 'Kitchen Confidential', 'Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations', and appeared on Top Chef and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman, among his many books and accomplishments.

Maybe I should be watching food shows more often.


Anyways, apparently they were filming for a new show series, I forgot what it was going to be called, just that the episode being filmed was basically him going to places that he'd choose if he was in NYC for 24 hours. I think it's gonna be on the Discovery channel. Anyways, I know BGICT will announce when the episode's gonna air.

Since I was in front of him, I got my ice cream before him = w=

Doug: What can I do for you, sweety ;3
Me: I'm broke. What can you give me xD

Doug whipped me up a deluxe Bea Arthur (deluxe being in the waffle coneeee :3) BADASS. It was my first time having it, it was good, though honestly I love my quirky tasting ice creams over a seemingly-simple ice cream with nutella, dulce de leche and graham cracker topping. Next time I'll probably try the Gobbler, since Monday Sundae is kind of similar to the Bea Arthur.

When I got my cone and started walking away, I got stopped by one of the camera crew, who asked me to basically stand behind Anthony and eat my ice cream, since I didn't really know him, but I was visually appealing with mah bow and stuff xD So I signed a model release form and assumed my position in the background, this bright, pink negro behind him absent-mindedly nomming on some ice cream xDD

Hoping that I was actually angled right so they could see my bow, and now just durp and me being a fat ass.




Anyways, after that I went right back into Brooklyn, to visit my new niece Ashanti who just got home ♥


SO SOFT AND VELVETY FEELING AND SQUISHY AND HNGHH D8

She got her dad's nose, our grandfather's eyes, and Cedelia's lips and light skin (is it bad I'm hoping she gets darker though? I'm tired of all these yellow folks in my family xD)



Her mommy changing her. I'm honestly surprised that Cedelia wasn't as exhausted as I thought she'd be. xD She was pretty normal, besides backaches and cramps and whatnot.

She don't like being changed. lolo


We all know she's gonna act like a diva - w- I have a feeling me and her is gonna be going at it in the future lol.



♥♥♥♥♥
Friday, June 24, 2011

Gay Pride + New Family Addition

Sooooo, if you haven't heard yet~

GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGALIZED IN NEW YORK



I'm not gay, but I am sooo happy for all my LGBT friends, they can finally marry and be protected like any other married couple in the state~ (and I can plan their wedding for them~ LOL)

A lot of my church friends have been complaining, or ~praying~ and whatnot against the situation, I simply just hide their posts off Facebook. I'm not interested in debates or in seeing hate. What's done is done, the churches aren't being forced to do anything, the issue is equality and legal protection, not sanctity according to the church, after all. But if they do question why I'm in support I will be happy to tell them off ♥

Besides, if sanctity of marriage was a real issue, then the divorce rate wouldn't be so high, people wouldn't be gold-digging, and any other marriage between two individuals of non-Christian faith should/would be banned as well, so #dealwithit

Regardless of their life choices, everyone should be able to live their lives happy and have their rights

I can't wait to see pictures and video from the Pride Parade on Sunday ♥





And then~

My sister's currently in the hospital

My new niece is on her way!

We have been waiting for a good minute for my sister to finally pop!
I can't wait to see Ashanti for the first time
♥ I'm praying for a smooth delivery

I can't wait to meet you, 'shanti! Auntie loves youuuuu ♥♥♥♥

Hopefully pics and shet soon :3
Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Reflection Week~ Summer 2011





This past weekend for me was pretty negative in spirit. Anyone who knows the nature of my relationship with my father would know I was in a sour and resentful mood during Father's Day. To top it off, other 'events' happened which made me feel pretty nonchalant about everything.


So yesterday, I decided to go to my old elementary school and see my old teachers that were still there. I decided to dress cute, a nice airy look to go with the feeling of the day.


Eventually I switched the heels to flats because those.. were obv not practical lol.


It was just funny to me how many people were still there. The crossing guard who works at the school have always been there, since as far as I remember (I graduated from 5th grade 10 years ago). The woman I always regarded as "the lunch lady" was still there. It's ridiculous because these ladies weren't even like teacher staff but they knew who I was (I tend to see the crossing guard every so often, but anyone else I haven't really seen since I graduated). My 5th grade teacher Mr. Cooper was now the dean of the school, while my other teachers were still teaching the same grade. (aside from my 1st and 3rd grade-- I couldn't remember my third grade teacher, meanwhile apparently my 1st grade teacher Ms. Anzalone married, had a kid, and became some sort of specialist or something big at a school district in Long Island somewhere).


It's crazy, you'd think that after 10 years or so they wouldn't recognize me, having grown from a snot-nosed kid to the young adult I am. I didn't realize how much I still look the same... but all my teachers remembered! They might've not remembered my name exactly, but when they say my face they were in awe. They were so happy and grateful that I stopped by, "a blast from the past" as my 4th grade teacher Ms. Crockett called me. (though I think what's a bit crazier is that everyone looked exactly the same as I remembered them, after 10 years. Like you think working in an elementary school would sap people of their energy, but everyone looked like they were stuck in time.)

But out of all of them, the two that really made me feel old. Mr. Cooper it was like, lol. Because back when I had him in 5th grade he was one of those little crushes. I don't know-- his attitude, he always had this poise that always had attracted me and so I had a little puppy love crush for him. lol I remember having given him a flower from Omi's garden one time and gave it to him when I was about to leave for some special day trip, and then later on he gave me one back. Back then we had people assigned to take down the chairs in the classrooms (usually 2), but that day he only assigned me and so I went, to find this small flower on my desk. It was really innocent, and it made me feel so good, and honestly I think that was one of the experiences that helped mold what I look for in a man. (I'm pretty sure I still have that flower too, I had pressed and taped it to the cover of one of my old girly diaries)


And then, there was my favorite, my kindergarten teacher Ms. Faye.

She always had this sort of congested sound in her voice (but the cute kind, not the nasty sounding one), and she always had long, straight raven-black hair. I had a special thing for her, and her and Omi and Mom used to talk before I graduated and whatnot. That was pretty much one of Omi's only friends-- she used to walk over there and meet her in the cafeteria and just talk and whatnot, and then sometimes when Omi used to go outside, Ms Faye would come by the house and talk to her. That eventually stopped when Omi's legs and her arthritis got worse and she stopped going outside. When I talked to her I told her that she should come over to the house sometime, so I'm hoping she actually will one day. Omi would love the company.


Though I've only just finished my high school education a year ago (when I was supposed to be class of '08), and decided on doing this Event Planning & Design certification, opposed to getting an actual degree in hospitality or something, my teachers made me feel so good and helped me realized that I had accomplished something with myself. It makes me a bit emotional to think about it. All the self-deprecation I've done to myself over the years because my path so far was different than the average person, that I never look at things in a positive light until lately, makes me feel like I wasted so much of my time. Granted that I probably did, but at the same time I'm glad that I actually got myself together and am continuing on this long-term of breaking down and building myself up.


I am truly grateful for the people that God places in my life. And these feelings only came from elementary school-- I can't wait to visit my old middle school and my high school!


Today marks the first day of summer, and despite the things that happened over the weekend, I'm looking forward to it. My thoughts sort of shifted from that "finish certification first, work later" to a more multi-tasky sort of mindset. I want to be able to finish school, get money, while enjoying my summer and I don't want to end up hating it like I did last year. So I'm planning on starting to teach myself the Design course, while finishing my assignments for the Planning course (10 almost down, 14 more to go), and trying to find a part-time or maybe full-time job.

I've been talking to some friends around the way, and I hope I get what I want out of this summer. lol Not to make it the exact stereotype, but the summer theme is pretty much going to be a typical "GAL SUMMER". Not in me dressing up, or clubbing and whatnot (though I will be doing more of that), but generally keeping that carefree mood throughout the next 3 months and being able to put myself out there and release parts of myself that I''ve been keeping within.

I'll probably put my "Summer Must-Do" list up soon. Hopefully I'll be able to do most of it.

Looking forward to a exciting summer!
Thursday, June 16, 2011

Food for thought


A lot of times I look back on certain things; people, family, drama, other events in my life that would make me go "fuck this". A lot of people tend to know me as a direct, "cutting ends loose" type of person when it comes to dealing with things, and a lot of times I'll often dead the issue, and keep it that way. I also tend to hold grudges, and follow "an elephant never forgets".

But there are moments like these when I think back to how I think sometimes, and try to mentally mold my usual thought processes for the future so that I'd be more positive when it comes to myself. Then later on I'll look to that improvement, and realize how little progress I've really made.

I try to be dismissive about a lot of things nowadays, but some things still tend to linger in my mind when I happen to come across it. Spirits are always there to linger, to catch me off-guard and to wreck my mood and throw me off course.

I forgot if I mentioned this before, but in the middle of my non-social period earlier this year, I was told (in regards to the church) to "grow a thick skin". Not even in a lighthearted tone, but in terms of when issues arise, when gossip is spoken and things are said behind your back. In other words, 'deal with it, it's not going anywhere', despite the fact that it is said to not let yourself continue to have something against a person, and to resolve any sort of issue that comes up.

Sure, I shouldn't listen to what is said, but why should I conform to that certain way? Why am I supposed to desensitize myself when that is my exact issue? Why should I taint my image of certain things because of others, when surely there is purity somewhere?

That is part of my current goal when it comes to my faith and receiving the Holy Ghost-- breaking myself down so I can be built back up, to turn my heart back to flesh from stone, to be able to breathe without the heaviness of discord.

Besides~ if I don't let go of the baggage, then I would never really stand out from the pool of those who decide to keep themselves in negativity.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011

An*Tai*Na &Taobaospree review #2

So I'm finally getting along to writing up my second An*tai*na review!

If you've been following along, I hosted a local group order with some of the girls in my area back around March or April. I received them right on International Lolita Day-- right on time for me to wear a pair of mine for my sister's baby shower xD

tbh I was a bit bothered about my shoes, I'm not sure if it was the consequence of trying to rush-order. As far as the rest of my group order, Antaina did a good job until it came to the socks, where there was a mix-up with socks, or socks being sold out and being sent other ones, but that was the least of our problems since the socks were literally a dollar.

My pair of socks I ended up getting, because of An*tai*na's error as well as my own. Somehow I ended up getting 4 of these in black instead of two (one in white, one in black for another girl), so I just took a pair for my own. Some of the other girls took the other two leftovers.


I'll be ordering from them again, but... definitely no rush orders this time.


Anyways, my shoes:


First are these pair of black heels, I'm not sure if they're supposed to be a brand replica? (If anyone knows, let me know~) -- http://item.taobao.com/item.htm?id=6706911969





I wanted to get this pair as my first actual fitting black lolita shoes since my last tea party reps didn't fit. These are a bit more of a classier look compared to the tea parties, which is good for my slowly-growing classic/gothic closet. The heel is 3 inches without much platform in the front, and the toe is a very soft round/pointed design which I like. The shoes come with 4 clip on bows (shown).


without the bows.




My issue with this pair are the straps-- if you see in some of the images, the right shoe looks way loose compared to the left, and that's because that strap is a bit longer than it's sister on the left shoe. It wouldn't have bothered me as much if the gaping look wasn't so obvious, because the strap isn't that long to be noticeable, the looseness is so noticeable. It may be something I can just easily fix at the Korean shoe repair store down the street (hopefully not more than $5), but it'd be nice if they at least had extra holes so I can just put that side a bit tighter.

The outsole is also really soft, so I'm wondering how long that'll last before it wears out.

Overall, the shoes are definitely not like, long-hours-of-strolling type of shoes. One thing I've noticed with both pairs of shoes, that I didn't realize right away with my tea parties, is that there's no cushion for the foot, so there's a lot of street for me when it comes to walking for a while. Nothing Dr. Scholl's can't fix, I guess.

Comfort: 7/10 (Haven't worn them for a long time but I can tell they'll eventually rub)
Quality/Construction: 8/10
Shipping: 10/10






Next up, these AP replicas: http://item.taobao.com/item.htm?id=6707044557



I always wanted these for a while now, especially after having seen lolitas like Kammie and Ashlee wear them. I always joked about them reminding me of Sonic the Hedgehog for some reason (don't ask), the clunky look is really cute without it looking too clownish, compared to other lolita shoes Antaina makes lol.

I've been wearing these an awful lot. Again, since there's no cushion inside it's only a certain amount of time before my foot starts feeling stressed but I really like these,especially since it has that wedge look I've been liking this summer. The heel is 2 inches, while the plat in the front is about 1 inch.

My problem with these shoes however?





They were supposed to have the snap buckle straps. These have velcro. The design is there, but it loses a bit of it's appeal without the buckle, and then I'm sure that they'd be more comfortable if they had it. the velcro is hard for me to deal with, because I would have to make the top strap pretty loose for the velcro to not detach itself while I walk. It gets pretty annoying to check every so often.



Granted, can't return them, might as well not anyways but.. if I plan to get these shoes in any other colors, I'm definitely having them make sure that buckle snap thing is on there. Because the velcro is bullshit.

Comfort: 8/10
Quality/Construction: 8/10
Shipping: 10/10



---------


As far as the shopping service is concerned, Taobaospree has proved themselves to be a very reliable service once again. Like I said before, I switched my agent to Lucy, and she has been an absolute angel.

Like Susan, and Susan Zeng, she has her own MSN IM you can contact her with as well as the official e-mail,. She was very much on top of things when it came to my order, and I was pleased. She let me know when there was the sock mix-up, they ended up having to send a pair of shoes back to Antaina because apparently they sent the wrong shoes (my black ones) and it was a very quick exchange so it was alright. She split the package into two to avoid me getting hit by customs, and everything was packed very nicely within the boxes. She was very patient when it came to us paying her, and the packages were sent immediately once everything was paid for.

I'm most definitely using Lucy again for future orders~ in fact, I opened a new order LOL. Fore a bunch of lashes (if anyone seen me mention my lifetime supply of lashes, I was NOT kidding at all!), makeup brushes, a new wallet among other things.

Communication: 10/10
Pricing: 10/10
Shipping & Handling: 10/10 (split between 6 people, it was about less than 40 each)




That's pretty much it for this review. Hope it was informative :3
Monday, June 13, 2011

Pentecost + the past week

Did I ever mention how retarded Medicaid is? Always jacking up my flow.

Last week I got the notice that my insurance was back on. I went to GYN, everything went fine and dandy. Didn't go to my main physician yet to get my second Gardasil, but I was supposed to have an eye doctor appointment on Wednesday.

They call a day or two before to tell me that Medicaid told -them- they weren't going to pay for appointments until after August 29th.

Are you freaking kidding me? Like seriously? You hassle me for months about going to get my eyes and teeth checked but the moment I do, you're not gonna -pay- them till months later?

I really can't deal with them, like come the hell on. Sometimes I wish I had a full-time job and just paid for GOOD health insurance myself. Or just pay for the stupid appointments out of pocket because these fools can't get their stuff together.

I was going to call them but I'm not even gonna bother frustrating myself with them anymore. God forbid I go blind or something.


Also forgot about Pentecost in the midst of the baby shower and everything else, so my fasting was complete fail for most of the week. When I couldn't do my simple 1-meal-a-day fast for jack, I decided to go a little bit extreme in disciplining myself by going through a mostly liquids only fast for 3 days. It was harder than I thought! But I went through it.

After service I went to my pastor's house for some serious noms, and I made a very lemony lemon cake with raspberry filling. I ended up completely stuffing myself and had this huuuge stomachache and a 12-hour high. NEVER AGAIN LOL


Plans this week? Homework, homework, more homework. I'm cracking down on this Event Planning certification thing, I'm going to get this thing done and over with before the end of June. I did some homework last week that still needs typing, and I also finished reviewing all the chapters on the online curriculum and the end-of-chapter quizzes.

Now I'm just going to kill my social life to finish work, since H.W. was always an issue of mine since middle school and I know if I don't push myself, I'll never get it done. I'm not going outside unless someone's paying for me, or if I gotta leave for my fieldwork/networking homework!

Besides the homework being done, I also don't have money to spend anyways because LOL gotta pay my shopping services and whatnot.
/why I can't have nice things


Upside? Once I got my certification I'll be back in business, I'll be back on the prowl for work, internships, and then to work on the certification to my Event Design course. And yknow, summer fun and bikinis and beach and all that good shit.

Giveaway I entered + New Facebook


Just entered this giveaway by Mie~

~Enter Here~

I've been entering a couple of giveaways lately~ I never quite understood all the procedures but meh, getting used to it *usually a 1-click girl*



ALSO-- recently I made my new Facebook open to the public. It's mainly for general networking, whatever future business, censoring for church people and relatives, etc. I'm gonna eventually cut my friendslist on my main FB down to exclusive people who I talk to and see on a regular. If you haven't added me and want to, tried to add me but I rejected you on my private FB, I got my FB badge on my side bar. I pretty much add everyone (with the exception of people I don't like lol.) So yah, add if you wish~
Tuesday, June 7, 2011

New cell, random trip to Big Gay~





Yesterday I went to the doctor for a quick check-up, then back to Party City to return the crap I had left over, got back 12 bucks. It's barely anything, but I'm glad I got it back - w- Part of it went back to my bank account, it hasn't shown up in my statement yet though... I want to be ghetto like LOL GIVE ME MY 4 DOLLARS PARTY CITY I AIN'T PLAYIN WITCHU

But hopefully it'll pop up xD


Stopped by the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck again ♥ Doug whipped me up something real nice~



This was SO GOOD. Pomegranate & Plum sauce on top of vanilla, with spicy peanut butter inside.

The peanut butter was much spicier than I expected, unlike the wasabi cone it was actually HOT @ w@ If there wasn't the ice cream with it, I probably would've had itchy burning gums for days~ the pomegranate + plum sauce was so good too. For some reason my mind kept thinking that the vanilla was cream cheese or something LOL. I think I'm too familiar with my usual cream-cheese + 'x' preserves on bread. Scrambling my brain


After that I headed uptown to Mei's place real quick, then browsed at BookOff and Kinokuniya until she got off work. Book-Off is always having David Tutera's books once in a while, but being so broke I decided not to get it :| ONE DAY (because I'm in no mood to buy the book at 25+ dollars regular price)

Got this old nail mag for $1 though~



Old 2008 mag, but still. It was a buck xD

I've been kind of thinking of visiting a nail salon to get my nails done again-- Some nice gel nails to hopefully last most of the summer. Sadly I don't have the money to shell out the money for the whole shebang, but if I manage to get a job in these coming weeks, it will be done. Most definitely. I'd probably go to Rio's house, have her do the gel work, then go to a salon and get the paint job done. I'd have Rio do everything, but I really love airbrushed nail designs, and I don't think Rio has one of those xD

This mag have a lot of more simple stuff compared to my NailMax that I've always had, but the designs are still cute, a lot of simple summery looks.





Speaking of nails, I was looking at this one chick's blog, and I really want this pink OPI polish. It's such a cute color ; w; and sparkly too

I was also looking at the new AGEHA, and the new EGG. The only time I really look at EGG is for maybe hair, and maybe an outfit or so. I don't like Egg's style too much compared to Ageha. I can't wait till that new magazine come out though, I forget the name but it's supposed to be a bunch of D.I.A.-ish styles? hopefully Kino's will stock up on those.






I always wanted to go lighter somehow, but I'm never really decisive and I end up not doing anything. I don't want to go full blond, but I want to try some touches, some highlights, -something-. Maybe an irregular color like pink or something? Again, this is one of my goals if I end up getting a job this summer xD


Went to Mei's house when she got off, where she finally gave me her old Sanyo phone for T-Mobile. I was gonna buy this, but since she never used it she gave it to me instead. One of these days I'll actually turn this sucker on, and get that unlimited monthly prepaid call/texts. Once and for all E___E no more of this b.s. Tracfone mess. Though I'll still have my Tracfone for business purposes. While it has no minutes on there, the service will stay on all the way to 2014 (that shows how many times I've recharged it with minutes).


It's all... nice and pink and shit ; o; LOL
I really want to deco it.. Mei says to sweets deco, and I was thinking sweets deco too, but I'm not sure how I'll be able to hold the phone if I cover the back in whipped cream and shit LOL. So I dunno. Might just go with rhinestones and try to clusterfuck them (maybe initials on the back? gotta think on ittt)

Once I turn it on and decorate it, I can finally put on my new phone charms and stuff e_e that's been sitting in my drawer since I got them.

Also opened a new taobao order (did I note this in my last entry?). I don't know why I still shop when I barely get anything for allowance...
so uh, dat job lolo
Sunday, June 5, 2011

What is this I don't even

A is for An*tai*na, B is for Baby Shower..

This past week I've been preparing for my sister Cedelia's baby shower, which was on Saturday.

It was pretty nerve-wrecking, at least trying to get other people to do what they gotta do, or talking with people over it. I really wanted to slap people LOL

We had a month to get the backyard done... and yesterday it was still pretty much a mess. I have pictures but I figure I'll just put them up when there's an actual before and after thing. Then I had to hear from whiny people, e.x.: my sister's friend, who wanted to whine about how it was a health hazard, and blahblahblah how she not trying to move nothing before she breaks her leg.

Like really? All that needed to be done was these wooden platforms to be removed, for the ground to be de-weeded and put down fresh grass. If you're really that much of a klutz to really think that you'll hurt yourself, then keep yourself to making the food. Don't give me your opinion.

On Friday I spent quite a bit of money on decorations, but hardly anything I bought was really used, and luckily I still have the receipt, so best believe I will be taking this stuff and getting some of my money back = w= Afterwards I went to see Mei, who was getting off of work, and then much later on I met up with Usagi and briefly met M0m0ko for the first time, then went home and spent the night making some of the decorations.


In any case, despite the b.s., the party was mainly inside. The weather was good, not too hot, tiny bit of drizzle here and there but otherwise it was good. Whatever small area outside that was cleared out was taken up by people who wanted to talk or smoke away from the loudness of the music and whatnot. Decor-wise, nothing much was done (I got garland, and made those tissue paper pompoms) since the space was small and it was pretty much gonna be a ghetto party (seriously booze at a baby shower? though my sis wasn't the one drinking, her fiance was... and so was I at the end LOL) and it was whatever. I was helping setup decorations and food, and serving the food and whatnot The food was good, the cake was good, it was good seeing people, I can't say anything about the presents because I was knocked out in Cedelia's bed before 9pm LOL


Didn't get home till 2am, greeted by the bullshit West Indian music from across the street.

You know those annoying West Indian people who have stereos and shit BLASTING music off their porch almost everyday? Same shit music, same TRACKS, for 8+ hours until the wee hours of the morning? Yes, those type of neighbors.

I was so exhausted from the baby shower that I couldn't take these people anymore. Why am I hearing your music from 2+ blocks away?? Like REALLY?

So I filed a noise complaint report. I hope and pray that the NYPD actually investigates and fine them and that they won't blast that stupid shit past 11:30pm ever again... though I doubt it, but I'll continue to call until they stop their shit. srsly


I woke up late, missed church... :/ I was really looking forward to it too, as well as being able to spend time with my... err... "potential significant other". Oh well, next time


Upside other than food and cake from the pawty? My An*tai*na group order came in this week, got my shoes, and wore loli to the party for International Lolita Day. No pictures, but felt like a boss. I'll be doing a review on my shoes and the service again in the next post.

This week I have a buttload of doctor appointments, I'm just hoping that my health insurance is back on and that I can use it, my first appointment is tomorrow. I have to call them in the morning to see e_e

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